Happy ears almost bankrupted me.
Nine months into building my practice, I had happy ears. Every prospect sounded warm, every coffee felt like progress, and I kept telling myself the pipeline was full while my bank account quietly drained toward zero. The truth was 240 coffees, zero 90 Minute Meetings (Capabilities Presentations), and zero Focus Days (New Clients), and I was lying to myself with a smile as running out of money went from a fear to a real risk.
Then I found Proof of Life. We write about it in Chapter 16 of “Fight Less, Win More.” Derek Gaunt and The Black Swan Group built it from hostage negotiation, where you do not send in a team or trade a dollar until you confirm the hostage is breathing, because if they are not alive, there is nothing to talk about. We teach you to open with
“Of all the options in the world, why me?”
My version of Proof of Life is four words:
“How can I help you?”
The bottom line I am listening for is whether they have a genuine vision for how we are going to work together. Because Law of Negotiation Gravity 9 is simple: Vision Drives Decision.
If they answer with real detail and start narrating that picture, I am the Favorite.
If they cannot, I am the Fool, and I stopped pouring coffee on hope a long time ago.
Here is how I implement it on every EOS Warm Call. I open with “How can I help you?” then zip my lips, aka use Dynamic Silence. Their answer either paints a vision of how we work together, or it does not. When it does, I ask what a successful collaboration looks like and let them describe it in their own words.
That is how I have booked 150+ EOS clients, and it started the day I stopped trusting happy ears.
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What is the one question that gives you Proof of Life?
Stay curious,
JBS